Finding Serenity Amongst Chaos

At this moment, I am pondering why when a momentous occasion occurs in our life, we use the saying “a new chapter” is beginning. Today doesn’t feel like a new chapter, it feels like a whole new story is being written, an outline in my head that I didn’t think was possible is unfolding. I am currently homeless but was lucky to spend the last week in a friend’s beautiful house with the most serene backyard you could imagine. My husband of 23 years packed up and headed West a few days ago to start a new phase of his own life. As I prepare to stay in three different locations over the next three weeks before I leave on my journey, I am living out of bins of clothing and sorting through the last few stacks of papers of what still exists of my belongings that are not currently residing in a 5’x7’ storage unit, have been sold or given away or will accompany me on my travels. 

The events of the past week were overwhelmingly difficult, both physically and more so, emotionally. Each day seemed to bring a new level of chaos and challenge from signing the closing documents on our house that I loved so dearly. Dedicating the time to my responsibilities at work to ensure that my team and all our accomplishments have the ownership to continue to flourish. Packing up every last item in my tiny kitchen that provided such joy to me as a created meals for my family and I over the last eleven years. Spackling holes and touching up paint from the paintings and photos that filled our walls with our adventures and reminders of a life well lived and full of love. To awkwardly saying goodbye to my husband who so kindly supports this decision of mine to embark on my journey. I walked out of my house for the last time last Wednesday evening, tears filling my eyes. The freedom of this new start is exhilarating but this heaviness in my heart will take some time to heal. I am committed to taking the time to find serenity and to remember that spirit of awakening is a journey. And so the story unfolds.